I’m a mom of two teenagers who are ADDICTED to their phones: Snapchat, Instagram for the oldest, YouTube Shorts, you name it… If it is delivered on the screen, they are hooked! Worse than hooked. Locked in. Addicted. I jest, but the house could be on fire, and if I asked them why they didn’t call 911, they’d probably respond, “Geez, Mom. I didn’t know. I had no idea.”
Common arguments in our house: “Did you do your chores?” “No, Mom! I literally have NO TIME! I’m so maxxed out on homework and activities. I’m getting great grades. It’s not that deep! Can’t you chill?” “Hmm… No time? How have you logged five hours on your phone today if you’re so maxxed out?” And of course it spirals from there….
If you've caught the headlines lately, you've seen social media on trial—literally. On October 28, 2026, jury selection began in Los Angeles for a landmark trial involving thousands of lawsuits against major social media platforms. The claims allege that specific design features have contributed to depression and anxiety in adolescents. Anecdotally, I can confirm this. I have witnessed a marked increase in symptoms of depression and anxiety when my teens have had too much screen time: lethargy, fatigue, not feeling like doing anything, acting agitated or restless, (more) intense mood swings & irritability, etc.
While the legal battles focus on algorithms and design, the most important conversation for families needs to be happening much closer to home: how our teens talk to themselves about what they see on their screens.
It's a big story, and an emotional one for parents, me included. But between the courtroom and our kitchen table, there's a quieter story that matters just as much — the one happening inside our teenager's head every time they pick up their phone. As a therapist who works with adolescents and their families, and who has two marvelous, combative, brilliant, ornery, hormonal, and lovely teenagers at home, I want to walk you through what the news and this case can teach us about the beliefs our kids carry in their pockets.
Anyone who has interacted with me in these past few years knows that I’m obsessed with Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). It should come as no surprise that, in my practice, I use REBT, which rests on a simple but powerful idea: events themselves rarely upset us—what we believe about them does. REBT calls this the ABC model: an Activating event, our Beliefs about it, and the emotional and behavioral Consequences that follow.
Social media is an almost perfect illustration:
A — the activating event: two hours of curated vacation photos, filtered selfies, and friends' highlight reels, delivered by an endless scroll.
B — the beliefs underneath: Everyone's life is better than mine. I need likes and replies to know I matter. Being offline for an evening is unbearable.
C — the consequences: anxiety, constant checking, comparison that stings at 1 a.m., and a phone that's hard to put down.
Notice that the platforms supply the activating event — but the beliefs are thoughts our teens are telling themselves, often without noticing. And, let’s be honest. It’s not just our teens that are experiencing this. It’s us too. When I spend too much time scrolling on Insta, I find myself falling into the same trap that my girls do. It’s exhausting.
The good news about REBT is that we can examine and loosen beliefs. A feed is hard to change; a belief is not.
Three beliefs worth gently questioning
In REBT, we look for a few predictable patterns:
The demand for approval. "I must have people's approval — likes, streaks, replies — or I'm not worth much." This is what REBT calls “labeling”: grading our entire self-worth by a number on a screen. The first thing we do is to…
D — Dispute the belief:
Where’s the evidence that a like or reply measures my whole worth?
Does not getting approval make me worthless—or just disappointed? ○ Would I say someone I care about is worthless because their post got little attention?
Can I want approval without making it a requirement?
After we dispute the irrational belief that we need people’s approval to be worth anything, we find a rational belief to replace it, like:
E — Effective new belief: “I’d really like people to approve of me, but they don’t have to. Their reactions may tell me something about this moment; they don’t define my worth. I can feel disappointed and still treat myself with respect.”
The aim isn’t to stop caring or pretend rejection feels good. It’s to loosen the must and remind yourself: approval is desirable, not necessary for your value as a person.
Here are a few more examples of some Irrational Beliefs:
Awfulizing: "It's terrible that I'm missing what's happening right now." Not merely inconvenient — terrible. That belief is what makes the phone feel like oxygen.
Effective New Belief: "FOMO is uncomfortable, but discomfort isn't danger. I can survive an hour offline — I've done it every night I've been asleep."
Low Frustration Tolerance: "I can't stand not checking." Of course they can stand it — they stand it in every exam and every movie theater.
Effective New Belief: "I don't like it, and I can bear it" is a small reframe that returns some freedom of choice.
Parents: your beliefs are in this story too
If you're a parent reading about these trials, notice what comes up. For many of us it's some version of: My child must not be struggling like this — and if they are, I've failed. That belief tends to produce confiscation, confrontation, and secrecy. Teens who fear a verdict rarely bring their parents their hard things.
The alternative isn't passivity. It's something more like: "I would strongly prefer my teen spend less time on these apps. I can act on that preference with steady, curious conversations — and my worth as a parent isn't on trial either."
The prevention research consistently favors exactly this: young people who expect curiosity rather than interrogation are the ones who actually tell adults what's happening in their digital lives.
A family experiment for this week
Nothing here requires a courtroom verdict. Try this instead:
Pick one 30-minute window — a meal, a walk, a car ride — where phones are off or away.
Separately, each of you writes down the loudest thought that shows up when the phone is out of reach. (Yes, parents too. Modeling this is worth a hundred lectures.) 3. Together, play "says who?" Take that thought — say, "I can't stand not checking" — and ask: Says who? Is it true, or a well-rehearsed prediction? What's the most honest counter-argument?
That's a first repetition of what REBT calls disputing — and unlike the trials, you don't need to wait years for the outcome.
When to reach out for more support
A reflection exercise is a conversation-starter, not a treatment. If your teen is showing persistent sadness or anxiety, changes in sleep or eating, withdrawal from people they used to enjoy, or any thoughts of self-harm, that's a signal to talk with a professional — a school counselor, your pediatrician, or a therapist. And if anyone in your family is in crisis right now, call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or call 911 for emergencies.
At Restartt, we work with adolescents, women, and families navigating substance use, anxiety, and the pressures of modern life — including the ones that live in our pockets. If you're wondering whether therapy might help your family, contact me, Angela Cameli, LCSW, CADC — Restartt for a conversation.
Sources for this post
Diana Novak Jones, "Meta and Snap face major US legal test of youth social media addiction claims," Reuters via Miami Herald, October 28, 2026
"Meta settles with second teen in social media addiction lawsuit; case against Snapchat moves forward," ABC7 News, October 30, 2026
"Social mediadoomscrolling isemotionallynumbing, BayAreateenssay,"EastBay Times, October 28, 2026
